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A night of fright

May 16, 2013

hemo-postcard-for-web_optI love horror, witty comedy, and music. To come across all three in one show was a treat. Hemophelia’s House of Horrors (Directed by Dan Spurgeon) is reminiscent of those old comedy variety hours that many of us grew up with on the radio and TV. Just like those old comedy shows most of the jokes are double-edged swords. Only in Hemophilia’s (Lara Fisher) case the edges are sexy and horrific, instead of innocent and risqué.

Without giving too much away I can tell you this it’s all gonna end in tears. You’ll be crying from laughing so hard, while the characters on stage well they’re crying for different reasons. The show itself covers a variety of topics from innocence lost in childhood through ritual sacrifice gone terribly wrong. At the close of every skit Hemophilia appears on stage as a sadistic Gothic Goddess with the bloodlust so horrible it comes off sweet and innocent. The juxtaposition of innocent and bloodlust play off each other in humorous ways which are then echoed by the skits. After all if you’re on the right side of the scalpel everything sunshine in daisies, if you’re on the wrong side it will end in tears.Hemo1

The first skit shows us why it might not always be a good idea to tell kids ghost stories before bed. Given the susceptibility of children this skit shows that staying up all night with a crying child isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you. Moving on from childhood we reach a situation most teenagers are familiar with. Just how fast can you get to second base and what happens when you finally do? Other skits include revenge fetishes, macabre puppetry, a melancholic serial killer, and as I said before I ritual sacrifice that goes terribly wrong.

Each skit uses one of the seven cast members all of them appearing in multiple roles. As they appear and disappear part of you forgets about their previous role, but when karma catches up with their new character you kind of want to give a little cheer. You also might find yourself saying “oh no not again?”. It’s a high level of skill that can make you love or hate the character in under seven minutes. Cloie Wyatt Taylor has a way of making you want to run on stage and rescue her. Brian Prisco makes one hand the knife to his killer. Cynthia Zitter‘s characters remind you of the annoying friend or sibling you can’t wait to get rid of but miss once they’re gone. Torrey Halverson is a great patsy. Samm Hill plays a psychopath almost too well. Casey Christensen is the go to friend that just has to die in every horror movie. Matt DeNoto‘s characters bring balance to the chaotic scenes helping carry them from action to action. Lara Fisher as Hemophelia: more lines, more songs, more evil Gothic Goddess please.

I’m having to restrain myself in this review, the show was just so deliciously evil and humorous. I don’t want to give anything away. Every punchline hits home. Every skit mixes multiple emotions, and while some are so bloodthirsty they can’t help but be funny. There is no way I could talk about any skit without giving away too much of what makes them so brilliant. That would make me of real villain to rob you of the thrill of seeing sexy and macabre, horror and humor wrapped up all in one.

I can talk about musical numbers without giving too much away. Hemophilia’s first number is a bit film noir, Elvira, and cabaret mixed together. The song tells a story, and like all pulp fiction it all goes pear-shaped because of a woman with great legs. Mix in the macabre from Elvira and the cabaret from Hemophilia being a sexy Gothic Goddess and you’ve got a great number. Ending with the familiar trope of the guy or gal in this case saying all the trouble was worth it because that dame with great legs sure can kiss. The closing number is an ensemble piece where all the dead come back and give you an interesting if warped life lesson.

This is one of those shows where once you’ve seen it you can’t wait to go back. You want to drag all of your friends to see it, because you know the punchlines will be funny every time you hear them. The macabre will scare you every time even when you know it’s coming. And the Gothic Goddess shall be there the entire time welcoming you to your death.


Hemophelia’s House of Horror (written by Matt Nedoto) runs Fridays and Saturdays at 10:30pm through June 8th. As well as Tuesday, June 11, at 8pm and Thursday, June 13, at 10:30pm

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