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The road to Chaotic Evil.

July 14, 2013
There is some debate between me and my friends as to whether my character is Chaotic Evil, or Chaotic Neutral with pangs of good. I say Sauvage D’Lyoncourt is the latter. Here is a short list of Sauvage’s actions.

1. See a pirate running in fear for his life with an IV full of toxic goop. “Oh must be turning into a zombie, I’ll kill it before it turns just to be sure”. Internal monologue “I saved locals from a potential zombie”. Reality, I killed someone without concrete proof they were a danger to anyone. Laughing at their cries for mercy was a nice touch.

2. Sees expensive Mead, and money. Pockets it instead of sharing with the party. So begins a long road of pocketing loot every time I find something of value when the party backs are turned. Internal monologue, “I earned it, it’s not my fault they can’t do a spot check.”. Reality, I’m willing to take from the group to profit myself.

3. Acquires a very rare/expensive/talented Phase Cat pet. Knowing there are “missing phase cat please return” posters everywhere I actively avoid the owner. When owner confronts me I state my intent to buy the Phase Cat. Owner asks for lots of money. I shift into a werewolf and growl that I’ll give him half. He agrees and flees. Then I talk the Mage into giving me half the value so he can watch it’s abilities. Internal monologue, “He was just a stupid shop keeper using this magnificent animal as a guard dog he doesn’t deserve it.”. Reality, I saw something I wanted and took it, when caught I intimidated the owner into taking less compensation than they wanted. I justified my action by thinking I compensated them at least.

4. While hunting a serial killer I’m turned into a woman 50% of the time. I begin marking my territory every time I become a man again. I also attack my friends when my make fun of me. Internal monologue, “I made sure the knife I threw hit him with the handle not the blade.”. Reality, I’m prone to violence when things don’t go my way…

5. Once we caught the serial killer I pocketed his maps and important papers instead of turning them over to the cops. Thinking I could find more treasure, not caring that they might need to know where the serial killer got his very powerful magic weapon. Internal monologue, “More treasure for me.”.

6. Receive a badge authorizing me to legally investigate a new set of murders/theft. The power instantly goes to my head. I begin to threaten anyone who doesn’t respect my badge. The thieves guild steals all of my stuff while I visit their HQ, this is just for practice and they return all of it. I swear an oath to track down and kill all of the thieves guild and burn all of their holdings with their families inside. Internal monologue, “They stole from me, they must be taught a lesson.”. Reality, WTF man you’re going to kill an entire guild and their families, burn their holdings and probably piss on the ashes to teach them and all thieves a lesson?

7. Continuing my greedy ways, I pocket two magical wands and some scrolls my friends don’t see. Upon noticing the Mage saw one wand, I ask him to teach me to use it under the guise of being a friendly party member.

8. Blood thirsty in combat. While I’m a werewolf (half form), whenever I kill an opponent I rip open an artery shake my head throwing blood on all of the opponents comrades, and roar at them to scare them. On one occasion I was so enthusiastic I ripped of the opponents head throwing it at his comrade breaking his nose.

9. A werewolf hunter hurt me with poison blades. Once he falls I try to do the unspeakable. I attempt to turn him as punishment. Turning someone against their will is the ultimate taboo to werewolves. He bursts into flames as his bones and skin are spelled to destroy the body upon death/attempted turning. Internal monologue, “He hurt me, he must suffer and flee from his fellow hunters for life. At least the local hippy kosher werewolves don’t know I tried to turn him.”. Reality, I’m a sociopath willing to break custom to “punish” whoever I want. Upon realizing I wasn’t caught I play it off with the werewolves and begin to smooth talk them.

10. Come across a tavern that says “no pets allowed”. Tell the barkeep Jade isn’t a pet she is a killing machine. Still told she isn’t allowed. Told to put her in the stables. I have her wait outside, as stabling her is an insult. I swear an oath to slit the barkeep’s throat at the first chance I am able to do so legally, or without getting caught. Upon sensing that the barkeep might be a paladin, I take out a religious book from a different religion and begin reading it in hopes to offend him. Internal monologue, “He insulted Jade/me, he won’t serve me good ale even though I have plenty of money. He must die for this insult, I should read this holy text hoping to provoke a fight so I can legally kill him all the faster.”. Reality, WTF! swearing an oath to kill someone because they offended your pet…

11. Run across a group of women Ogres. Due to some unfortunate circumstances (I was a woman for 1.5 days upon becoming a man I marked my territory.) they attack to “defend themselves from a rapist.”. During the course of battle I see them fleeing in fear. I encourage the party to destroy them all, they attacked us first. Towards the end of the battle I intimidate an Ogre into crying by growling “I’m going to rip you apart limb from limb and throw your corpse to your comrades.”. When she flinches and falls down I lunge with such ferocity that there is no “meat” left the body explodes into a spray of goop and gore sending blood everywhere. Internal monologue, “They started it, and they insulted me. Oh and blame Sara she attacked them before I could try and explain that we aren’t bad guys”. Reality, seriously I exploded a body of someone who was so afraid they fell down backwards crying.

12. A green dragon attacked us because Sara slept with her crush. After almost killing her in self defense. I used a magical healing double ended dildo of doom to saver her life. When she recovers I have harsh words for her. Telling her if she had hurt Jade(my pet) more I would have let her die. I tell her if she had attacked someone stronger she would have died. I tell her she is wasting her life for someone who probably doesn’t even know she exists. I tell her it was pathetic, and stupid. Internal monologue, “She needs to hear these harsh words, or she will kill someone else, or die herself.”. Reality, she attacked me and I don’t care if she spent the last two days crying I’m going to maker her cry more for daring to attack me.

As I write this I realize I called the first victim an “it”. I dehumanized him to make it easier to kill him. Making him an “it” instead of a human justifies my actions.

I swear I’m good…

From → Etz Chaim

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